Wednesday, January 23, 2013

Well, it's official our little Hudson clan is expanding by two sweet little feet!! 

It almost feels surreal typing the above sentence.  Around February 2010 when my James relapsed with his Leukemia I came to peace with never having children of my own.  I stopped praying about it, stopped even thinking about it.  The ONLY thing I thought of and the ONLY thing I prayed for was for James to be cancer free and be able to live a normal life.  That was my only true desire, the rest didn't matter because without him . . . . there was no family.  Fast forward to November 5, 2010 I laid to rest my dream and desire of growing old with James and sharing our life together.  It was. . . . . over, all over.  This was a reality that I did not want and trust me I let God know about it on a constant basis.  As my heart was broken into a million pieces, God just wrapped His loving arms of understanding and peace around me and just said "I'm here & I love you".  

Fast forward to Black Friday 2012, me & Keith staring at the pregnancy test in complete and utter disbelief.  We couldn't say hardly anything and a flood of emotions came for both of us.  You could tell that for both of us it was a realization of a dream we never thought would happen.  While shedding tears we prayed for this little life growing and developing in my tummy.  We knew a lot of tears were shed & hearts were broken and finally dreams were renewed for this little precious life to be here.  This life, this little person that is part of Keith and part of myself.  Mylanta, what did we have to go through to get here???? I often think that James & Anna escorted our little one into our lives and that precious little one has already got two very special guardian angels watching over it.  I mean you can't beat having a Doctor and a Cop watching over your little one. :) We prayed that God would use this little life to touch many more lives than this Mommy and Daddy ever could.  That he or she would love God and serve Him and others with all they had!  We prayed for guidance, because you know that the two of us are completely lost in this world of babies/children! 

As we stood there still staring at the pregnancy test still waiting for the result to change, just in case we had gotten hasty with our excitement, I couldn't help but thank God for this Godly man standing beside me who had shed tears with me, laughed with me and at me (we won't talk about those moments;)), and now the man who is the Father of my child.  I stand amazed daily at God and all His miraculous ways and as I heard that little heartbeat for the first time on December 21st I couldn't help but know that this little life was part of His plan once more.  Part of the plan that is always better than my own and part of the plan that I don't always understand but know that it is best for me to follow even when it hurts at times. 

So now, we have this little life to look forward to sharing in come around 07-30-13.  We can not wait to hold this little one and share all these wonderful and crazy times together. . . . . for you know this little one already has our hearts. <3

No comments:

Post a Comment